Time Spent in a Box
When does it become time to make a lifestyle change? When should we reflect on ourselves and the direction we move in to get to where we want to be, and how do we get there? I am often faced with these questions, as I believe most of us are.. For myself however, it's more so the case. I have a disability that is invisible to people, and it often places me in different boxes.
This part of my life I have come to realize that it's possible to see who you were, who you are now, and whom you want to be. When we judge who we are now we reflect on our past to answer that question, and that leads us to our choices forward. As for myself, it has taken a few years to come to the point where I realize my past is divided into two categories, one is the permanent events that can't be changed, and the other is those that don't need to define myself. As such is my disability.
The box is what I call this situation I find myself. On all sides of my social, psychological, and physical embodiment redard a wall I can't seem to move. On all six sides I have a wall that does this to me. For all of my ability to overcome one means conquering another, that in turn means I need to conquer the third, which relies on the first.. and so on. All is not lost though, I have found a way to break this vicious cycle. It required me to take a step back and look at the issues I was facing and seeing the forest not the tree, as they say. My box can be solved, it just needs to use the parts from some to overcome one issue.
Currently, what is slowing me down is financing. Having a paycheck once a month does not make for a speedy recovery. In all, I won't quit, I had the time to reflect, I am making the changes I need to make, and I know how to get to where I am going.